my sweet baby Coco.

Yesterday Coco was outside playing and wouldn't came back in. I worried all night because she is probably the hungriest kitty I know to go so long without eating. I don't know how many times I've seen her sprint from wherever she was when i would shake her lil' jar of food. But she wouldn't come in. With the little sleep that I got, I woke up as soon as the sun came up and went out this morning again but still couldn't find her. She's primarily an indoor cat, although because I know how much she loves rolling in the dirt and because she never goes too far from the driveway, I let her enjoy the backyard sun. I got her a cute lil' Coco tag too. But I was worried, so I made these flyers and put them in some of my neighbors mailboxes:

As I was going from mailbox to mailbox, a lady came up to me asking if I was looking for a cat. I told her yes and she said, "I hit her yesterday in my car. " my heart dropped. She asked to see my photos and said, "yes, that's her. She went under my car and didn't get hit by my tires, so I was going to take her in... but when I picked her up, she just died in my arms.." tears just starting streaming down my face and she held me. I was still hoping that maybe it wouldn't be her, but she unwrapped the towel and I saw my lil' Coco with her tag on. I carried her home, sobbing with my roommate at my side. I can't even explain what it's been like to lose two kitties in such a short span of time. They were my best friends. They kept me going everyday. They were always something to look forward to. My mom told me today, "It's nice to know that you have so much love to give to animals because they are so deserving of it and not everyone gives what you do. When you give your love to them, they will always be there for you too. " It was comforting to hear that.

I have a million photos of coco. we were supposed to stick together here. She was always sitting with me while I wrote here. I'm not going to change the name because she will be here in spirit! forever! Here are some photos I've never shared. Just a tiny glimpse of what I have..


esmeandcoco.


she would drag all these toys onto my bed everyday. a pile of toys...


happily being pet by karen.


working with mama.


She was panting after running around. so funny!


I took this photo as part of my morning series of her paws, on April 15th.


She loved being outside, as I imagine all cats do, but she needed to be watched because she wasn't street smart.


what a pretty face.


She loved being in bags or boxes. More than any cat I know, she would just sit in it and watch everyone else in the room.


she always wanted down into the basement. she woudl beg to go down there. The other night mb & i heard a loud crash. We're still unsure of the damages. I think she liked to play fort.



miss cute face.



new toy.


I just bought her this mouse. She LOVED it!


she would always bite my toes. ha. this was a couple weeks ago. I wanted to get an in-focus one but it tickled too much.


model kitty.



these are my last photos of coco, taken last sunday when I got home. She would run and look out the window when I pulled into the driveway, and then run to the door as I walked up. This time I teased her because she looked so cute with her little head peeking, and I happened to have my camera. So I kept her there, playing at the window and then she stretched her paws up on the window. what a sweetie.





I found coco 2 1/2 years ago when i was driving home and i saw her nearly get killed running under a truck. She ran to this building, pressing herself against it, her little 4 month old body shaking. I took her home and took care of her. mb and i loved her and spoiled her immensely. i feel like if you love someone, you should always spoil them and not feel one bit bad about it because they probably deserve it. I love you forever, my darling coco.

chloe & lena

e s m e

I went earlier this time to Jennifer's house and got some photos before the lil' darlings went down for their nap. And then I even stayed long enough to get them when they woke up too. And then I stayed even looonger, for Chloe to get home from school, then till bedtime for all three. And preceded to stay until I could no longer stay awake myself. I really didn't want to leave this happy family, while I pretended it were my own.

I also want to share this delicious looking recipe for dressing I found here, at smitten kitchen.



Avocado Salad with Carrot-Ginger Dressing
Adapted from Gwyneth Paltrow’s GOOP.com

The major changes I made to the recipe were to increase the miso and sesame oil because I like it when their flavors are noticeable. This recipe has a real bite to it from the fresh ginger and the shallot. The original recipe suggested a large one, I suggest a more thimble-like small one. If you don’t want as loud of a ginger bite, use one tablespoon instead of two. This will make a lot but I like salads best with a heavy helping of this. You’ll go through it faster than you’d expect.

Serves 4, with dressing to spare

1 large carrot, peeled and roughly chopped
1 small shallot, peeled and roughly chopped
2 tablespoons roughly chopped fresh ginger
2 tablespoons sweet white miso
2 tablespoons rice vinegar
2 tablespoons toasted sesame seed oil
1/4 cup grapeseed or another neutral oil
2 tablespoons water

1 small/medium head of lettuce (I used Bibb) or mixed greens of your choice
1/4 red onion, thinly sliced
1 avocado, quartered

Whiz the carrots, shallot and ginger in a blender or food processor until finely chopped. Scrape down the sides, then add the miso, vinegar and sesame oil. While the machine running, slowly drizzle in the grapeseed oil and the water.

Divide the lettuce among four bowls, add some of the onion and a quarter of the avocado. Drizzle with plenty of dressing and serve.

summer breakfast

This photo was from last summer after z&i went to the farmers market. This is the best breakfast ever! We used to get them at, I think it was called the Mudd house, in Ypsilanti. It's usually an everything bagel for me, with tomato slices, s&p and nutritional yeast. Sometimes we add cream cheese, hummus or avocados. It's delicious! yumyum

p.s. I found this photo I had saved on my computer awhile ago of a mystical boat room, like r's. But this one looks pink. I like the white one with the white floors. And many apologies for not recalling where I found this. If you know, please tell me so I can give them credit. Thanks!

last weeks mourning

lena & esme

These are my friend's beautiful girls I was lucky to photograph today. Unfortunately, because I showed up just before their naptime I could only get a few but I will be back next week! I also realized that I shouldn't use my camera lens as my only eye while chasing Lena, because soft surprises are waiting for me in the grass. ha!

Next week, Chloe, the third lil' lady will be there as well! wooo